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Make a toast, get the best table – the secrets of
the super-suave can be yours for the mastering
GET A GREAT TABLE
Maitre d'hotels recommend reserving in advance, especially
for window tables, by at least three to four days. If you
forget to call, then ask the concierge of an established and
respected hotel to make the booking — even if you're
a native of the area. A good concierge will be known among
the maitre d's and restaurateurs in the city. If you're lucky,
he'll call the restaurant and make the reservation on your
behalf. If you're even luckier, he won't ask for your hotel
room number. However, for most fine dining experiences, the
table location is not as important as the quality of the meal
and service.
- Don’t lie: Using a famous name to book a table won’t
work, when the celebrity fails to show
- Earn a good reputation: If tipping the maitre d’,
don’t tip less than US$20. Fold it into a square, held
between your thumb and palm, and pass it while gently shaking
hands. You can do this as you’re being seated, or as
you’re leaving.
START A CONVERSATION.
The simplest way to start a conversation is to ask someone
a question about him or herself. Try making it more interesting
than “so, what do you do?” To keep the budding conversation
moving along, try repeating the last few words the other person
just finished saying. Most people are uncomfortable with silence,
and this technique will prompt them to continue talking. Listening
is an important skill and usually very attractive. Don’t
start with being argumentative or cold; be warm and real.
- You’re at a party where you know no one: One woman
in town approaches people with “so, do you know anyone
here?” This is a nice ice-breaker, and she usually finds
herself being introduced to the key people at the event.
- The snobs are getting you down: Try something silly, like
bumping into someone or even tripping over yourself. You are
bound to find the kindest person in the room, when he or she
asks if you are all right.
CHOOSE THE WINE
The key to picking a great wine is to choose something that
suits your personal style. Matching to food is, of course,
the ultimate goal but your wine choices speak volumes about
who you are. Selecting the unknown brand or obscure grape
variety makes you a bit of a rebel. Perhaps, even a bit clever.
Anyone can buy a New Zealand sauvignon blanc or a classed
growth Bordeaux. Finding that great wine off the beaten path
shows determination, intellect and a sense of whimsy.
Drinking shiraz or cabernet gives the impression you like
power, and a pinot drinker is more inclined to crave elegance
and finesse; a man who drinks riesling is truly comfortable
with his sexuality. Most important, respect the food being
served and feel comfortable with your choice because it’s
something you want to drink, not what somebody expects you
to drink.
- Don’t be afraid to ask: “What will go with my
meal?” or “Do you have any new and interesting wines?”
- Faking it: ask for a first-growth Bordeaux
- When in Rome: In an Italian restaurant, order Italian wine.
Same with French.
RECOVER FROM A FAUX PAS
Asking the wrong question. Freudian slip. Foot in mouth.
It happens to everyone, and according to etiquette experts,
it’s all in the recovery. React quickly, they say, and
keep your delivery calm and even. Those around you will take
their cue from you, so if you clamp your hand over your mouth
and shout, “I’m so embarrassed!” chances are,
you’ll embarrass them as well. Simply say, “I am
sorry,” or another appropriate admission, and keep the
conversation moving. For example, inquiring after someone’s
spouse may elicit the response that they’ve split up.
Don’t prolong the discomfort by asking personal questions
such as why; merely state you are sorry to hear that and quickly
ask a question about work or another safe topic.
Someone has food in their teeth or missed a button when dressing:
You must tell them, experts agree. Casually and quietly mention
it, then continue talking. Wouldn’t you want to know,
if it were you?
MAKE A TOAST
You failed debate and you can barely make it through a business
presentation without your voice shaking. But there are ways
to take your mind off the fact that you will be the focal
point of the room for two minutes or so. The best piece of
advice is simply: be prepared. Anxiety arises from feeling
ill-equipped or not ready, so write it out, rehearse it and
— most important — don’ t make the speech about
yourself. Be humble and praise the person you are toasting.
- Show tact: Don’t reveal truly private information
about a person in a speech.
- Don’t have a drink beforehand: You need to be lucid.
- Minimize: Do keep your speech to two minutes in length,
maximum.
- Relax: It will be over before you know it.
Ross Edward Marks is a wine consultant and former sommelier
at New York’s Waldorf Astoria Hotel. Arnaud Mirey is
maitre d’hotel of Restaurant Petrus in Hong Kong’s
Shangri- La Hotel.
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